Manifesto for Half-Arsed Academic Research

• Research results are more important than the number of publications or citations.
  This is fine. Yet, we don’t have time to read your papers. So, just keep publishing a lot of papers each year. And get your influential friends to cite you. That’s how we’ll know whether you are good.
• Science and truth are more important than spin and marketing.
  Yes, but keep pretending you will solve world hunger. And align your research results with the current fashionable trends.
• You cannot tell where the next science breakthrough is going to come from.
  Maybe. Still, we want a plan of your research activities for the next five years.

Further reading: The hard truth about research grants and The secret behind radical innovation.

Source : Manifesto for Half-Arsed Agile Software Development via John D. Cook.